This Thursday was a special day for my high school classmate and very good friend, James Soriano. He was a champion debater back in high school, an honor student, and now a real writer for no less than Manila Bulletin. Thursday was when his very first article on his very first column, iThink, became available for the public to reflect on. Congrats pare!
Speaking of writing, I have recently been struggling with academic writing myself. I just really find it ironic that after two years of writing in a blog full of reflections, I find myself stumped about what to write for a simple, personal essay in English class. I even find it 'lame' (as my teacher called it earlier) that I missed my one and only chance of consulting with the teacher about what to write, and how to write it well (in her own, supposedly expert view; I have an almost completely different idea of what's good, so good luck to me).
For the past few days, attending English class has not personally felt very fruitful. We've been going through a lot of things about the essay that we already repeatedly learned in high school (like the thesis statement and topic and sentence outlines), from the best English teachers. The worst part was, we've been 'learning' at a much slower pace, since the class is supposed to focus on the writing process. I'm sorry if I sound like a kid, but I feel bored with what we are taking up in English. To add to that, I even seem to resent a lot of the new writing styles and tips our new teacher imparts to us. Bluntly, I cannot stand all of it.
I am pretty sure that if my teacher reads this post, she will end up thinking about how full of pride I am, despite me being a real beginner in writing compared to her. To clarify, I have nothing against my teacher and her style of teaching. I just do not find it useful enough for me, after learning so much for the past 4 years with a different style. I always feel that I have to protect whatever I learned from high school about writing, which makes me resent learning new things about the old things.
I feel stumped not only because I cannot find something to write about in a simple, personal essay, but also because I feel like I cannot learn anything new because of whatever pride I have.
We've all felt the same way. We've all felt like we were wasting time doing something in the place of whatever we feel we should be doing. The problem is, how can we learn if we keep resenting and resenting whatever comes our way? Even if it's really hard to see at this point, I guess there's always something new to learn from everything. There may presently be no clear manifestations of what we learn, but I guess they are bound to show themselves someday.
In all this uncertainty about learning, I just really hope I am not wasting my time.
By the way, whatever I wrote today is not a simple, personal essay, by choice. It only shows how I have to listen and re-learn things in class.